The Unexamined Autobiography Isn’t Worth Writing – My Life Outside the Ring

In his “Apology,” Plato tells us that Socrates said, “The life which is unexamined is not worth living.” This quote is often taken out of context to mean that we should always be examining ourselves, and the world, in pursuit of wisdom and virtue. In context, Socrates was speaking a little more specifically about his examination of the lives and works of powerful men in Athens. An examination to which those men perhaps took offense, as Socrates said these words in his own defense at his trial for impiety and corrupting the youth. He was found guilty and was sentenced to death by poison despite dropping that banger quote. A philosopher to the end, though, he didn’t stop talking even while he drank the poison. I was thinking about how death itself struggled to shut Socrates up as I was listening to Nate describe Hulk Hogan’s “autobiography.” It was then that I remembered that thing that Socrates said, and it occurred to me that the creation of an autobiography is maybe the ultimate examination of one’s own life.

In Hulk Hogan, we have a powerful man who rose to the top of his industry. This autobiography presents The Hulkster with an opportunity to look back and examine not just his own life and work, but the lives and works of all those who built professional wrestling into the multi-billion dollar market that it is today. Imagine what it was like for the 12-time world champion to retreat to the wilderness and begin his contemplations. As Mr. America sat in the Cave of Reflection, replaying his life in his mind’s eye, what did he see? Was it a virtuous Life Outside the Ring? Were there regrets? What would others learn from his example? It must have been surreal for the star of Mr. Nanny to descend from the mountain top, an age of the world later, with a manuscript in his hand and enlightenment in his heart.

I’m joking, of course. Hulk Hogan didn’t write this book. Mark Dagostino did. Mark Dagostino actually used this book as a bit of a launching point for a career in C-List celebrity biographies. I have no doubt that he collaborated with Hogan on the book, probably doing many interviews. I also have no doubt that he deferred to Hogan’s wishes with regard to what went in the book and how it was worded. Dagostino was not there in a journalistic capactiy to challenge Hogan’s claims. He was there to help someone who had never written a book, and who had no desire to write a book, produce a book for which a publisher deemed there would be sufficient demand.

The celebrity “autobiography” has become a publishing staple. I think the tide may be turning on this sort of thing as the celebrity-obsessed monoculture fractures into algorithm-curated-content-bubbles, but we can probably look forward to at least another decade of best seller lists being topped by these low effort, highly inaccurate, self-promotional books that people mostly listen to at the gym. The formula is pretty simple. Publishers target anyone with a large enough audience to justify the acquisition, buy the rights to the book, pair them with a ghostwriter (credited or uncredited) to sit with them for a little while and knock out a few hundred pages. It’s good publicity for the celebrity and easy money for the publisher.

It’s probably obvious from my tone that I don’t think much of these books. I understand that publishers need to make money and that these books probably pay for a lot of the other books the publishers took a risk on. It’s still a shame that the life writing genre is bloated with this low effort, low information, slop. Deep down I believe that every human being’s autobiography is worth writing if it’s written well and with a sincere attempt at honesty and self-reflection. Every person, whether they achieved anything culturally important or not, has experiences that we can learn from. Every person has stories that, when properly told, could make you smile, or bring you to tears, or fill you with rage.

Hulk Hogan isn’t interested in that kind of honesty or self-reflection. Most celebrity autobiographies aren’t. Much of this content amounts to gossip. It’s behind-the-scenes tea being spilled. The drama may be entertaining, but it is far from edifying. When Socrates stated that the unexamined life wasn’t worth living, he meant that anyone who is interesting in truly living should be willing to undergo a thorough examination of their life, and be willing to learn from the results of that examination. He was arguing that people should be more invested in developing wisdom and finding the truth of things than in self-promotion.

Hulk Hogan learned nothing from the experience of writing this book, but he got a little richer. His readers learned nothing from reading this book, but they got a little poorer. If the unexamined life isn’t worth living, then certainly, the unexamined autobiography isn’t worth writing. It definitely isn’t worth reading…Nate.